Working in an office this summer meant that I had to trade in my usual uniform of sweatpants and t-shirts and try to dress according to the vague definition of ‘business casual’. With this wardrobe change came the complication of buttons, collars, wrinkles, and zippers.
One day I was sitting in a meeting with my boss when I realized that my fly was open. I gritted my teeth as I wondered how long it had been like that. Since I didn’t want to get fired for indecency, I decided to wait until after the meeting to address my situation. I crossed my legs and placed my hands in my lap as a temporary fix. As soon as my boss released me from his office, I scampered down the cubicle-lined halls at top speed. As soon as I was away from any visible coworkers I went to hoist up my zipper. I am quick, but not quick enough. Just as I assumed the compromising position, my one male colleague rounded the corner. He gave me a puzzled look that quickly turned to awkward realization as he averted his eyes and shuffled past me. I turned as violently red as my Indian skin tone would allow and bolted back to the sanctity of my cubicle.
Lesson Learned: Never do up your fly in public.